


Stare Too Long

by Harpokrates



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen, One Shot, making fun of bort's name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 14:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15317733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harpokrates/pseuds/Harpokrates
Summary: "Nothing. Say, Naruto, did you have any other names picked out?""Well, yeah, Hinata picked his name out."Iruka receives the worst baby shower invitation. One-shot.





	Stare Too Long

Iruka felt his ear to ear grin falter, then shift to stone on his face. He read the baby shower invite again, trying to convince himself that this was all a genjutsu. No. It wasn't. That would make too much sense.

In front of his desk, Naruto rocked excitedly on his heels, smiling like a complete loon, which he was. Iruka had occasionally been convinced that his problem student was hiding a core of subtle genius, but this confirmed it.

Naruto was an idiot.

"So, Sensei?" He leaned forwards, tapping the envelope addressed (in Hinata's handwriting, because it was legible), to 'Iruka-sensei'. "Whaddya think?"

Iruka swallowed. "You're sure it's a boy?"

Maybe he could talk him out of it, provide a voice of reason. Hinata's parents had clearly given up, but Iruka was well aware he was the closest thing to a father in Naruto's life. A sudden surge of dread overwhelmed him.

"Yep!" Naruto gave him a thumbs up. "Sakura checked herself. Hinata has the ultrasound at home, but he's like this big," he held his hands about eight inches apart, "but Hinata is like," he pushed his stomach forwards and puffed out his gut, "huge! How does something so tiny take up so much space?"

Iruka fought the urge to stare at the ceiling. "Perhaps it's best if you don't tell her that."

"Ah, trust me, Sensei," Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "I learned that lesson the hard way. Anyways, are you gonna be able to make it?"

"Of course," Iruka read over the invitation again, "I'm sure I'll be able to make it for hnrg."

"What was that, Sensei?"

"Nothing. Say, Naruto, did you have any  _ other _ names picked out?"

"Well, yeah, Hinata picked his name out."

"What."

"Yeah, our deal was that if the baby was a boy, she could choose, and if it was a girl, I could choose."

Iruka gave in to the urge to sigh. Hinata? Well, she had picked  _ Naruto _ of all people, so perhaps her judgement wasn't as good as Iruka thought it was.

"Something wrong, Sensei?"

"Nothing, Naruto. Just a headache."

"Ha, yeah, I bet being  _ Headmaster _ and all is pretty tough." Naruto jabbed his elbow into the air.

Iruka smiled gently. "Well, I don't have to put up with you as a student anymore."

"Aw, mean!" Naruto's watch beeped. "Oh, shit, I gotta go. There's this Kage meeting thing and if I'm late again Sakura's gonna kick my ass.

"Later, Sensei!" Naruto ducked out the door, and a thought dawned on Iruka.

"Wait, Naruto!" He shouted, standing up from his desk.

Naruto poked his head back inside. "Yeah?"

"If the baby were a girl," Iruka said weakly, "what would you name her?"

"Oh, that's easy: Binata. Gotta run!"

It was a good thing he was in such a hurry, because he didn't accidentally catch Iruka slamming his head into his desk.

What kind of name was  _ Boruto _ ?

What kind of name was  _ Binata _ ?

Suddenly it made more sense that this had been the Hokage who had campaigned aggressively to rename the ANBU squad to Badass Ninja… With Masks! before the council shot him down and instead agreed to sign a permit for the expansion of the orphanage.

If he hadn't known Naruto, Iruka might've considered it a sly tactic: agree to give up the truly ridiculous thing so the less ridiculous thing is passed, but this was also the man who wanted to subject a baby to the name  _ Binata _ .

Perhaps it would become a trend, and his new class would consist of Bakuras, Bauskes, Bentens, and Bikamarus.

And them perhaps he would have an aneurysm and be free of this idiocy.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Sweet Child O' Mine.
> 
> They don't actually have western style baby showers in Japan (sort of a 'counting your chickens before they hatch' thing), but kindly endure my inaccuracies for the sake of my bad sense of humor.


End file.
